When Doubt is a Good Thing

Once a month I sit in the waiting area of my rheumatoid doctor’s office, listening for my name to be called. The room is usually full of elderly people waiting for their turn. There are men who shuffle slowly to a chair against the wall whose wives sign them in at the desk because they can’t stand very long to do it themselves. I always notice their scuffed white tennis shoes with the Velcro tabs and the khaki pants or jeans that sag around their small frames. Their knuckles are swollen with age and arthritis and they grunt softly as they fall into the soft chairs to rest. The wives aren’t much younger than themselves, and sometimes it is the she who sits down and the husband who checks in.

After seeing the doctor and having my blood drawn, it is not uncommon for me to run into the some of the same couples I saw in the waiting room standing at the elevator, watching for the doors to open so they can slowly make their way inside. I always step back from them to allow enough room to board. I don’t like them to feel rushed with a younger person standing behind.

As I waited to see the doctor today, the sermon Dr. Marr gave on April twenty-sixth came to mind. He spoke of doubt and how it can be a rigid master if we allow it to rule our lives, but it can also be a servant, pushing us to ask questions and know more about God which deepens our faith in Him.

In Matthew 11, John the Baptist sends his disciples to ask Jesus “Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?” Jesus replies by telling them to recount to John “the blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor.”

What a glorious report to deliver! But Jesus does not stop there. His final words are a direct encouragement to John: “Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of Me.”

As John sat caged like a wild animal in prison, he doubted Jesus was the One who was foretold by the prophets. The Jews expected a warrior king to free them from the shackles of Roman rule, but Jesus was the exact opposite of what they anticipated. John’s ministry began with thousands of people coming to hear him speak and preach the Word. But as he languished in prison, he felt as though all of that was over.

In my sermon notes, I wrote “We are never more vulnerable to doubt than when we suffer or face injustice. John was there.”

John had reason to doubt because it seemed that his life was at a dead end. What was God doing? From reaching thousands with his sermons, he had fallen into a prison cell where he was treated poorly and no one but God Himself could hear his cries for help. Any human being would doubt to some degree in this kind of circumstance.

But through John’s questioning, we grasp a valuable truth. Jesus’ final statement to his cousin gave hope beyond what he could have asked for. The Lord was telling John that even if things are not going your way, even if you are sick and dying, trust God. “Blessed is the man who does not fall away because of Me.” In other words, Jesus did not come to heal your marriage, He did not come to bring back the rebellious son or daughter in your family. He came to be the remedy for the sin we find ourselves sick with. If we cannot understand this truth, then we cannot understand Jesus Himself.

People say “If you come to Jesus, you will be happy and healthy” but that is simply not the truth. Life is hard. It is cruel. It breaks us and disorients our minds so that we cannot see clearly. But if we do not allow it to cause us to be offended when Jesus does not heal us or make us “happy and healthy,” we are blessed. We should not expect God to be what our human minds think He should be. It is dangerous to misunderstand Him in this area. He knows what we need, so much more than we do, so don’t let he world define who He is, because the world will ALWAYS get it wrong.

Jesus ended his message to John with a beatitude: Blessed is he who does not stumble over Me.

John did not lose faith in his Savior after his disciples recounted Jesus’ message to him. He trusted Jesus more than anyone and his followers joined Jesus after his death. Because of John’s faith, these men trusted in the Lord.

This is a difficult lesson to learn, but when our hearts are truly opened by the whisper of the Spirit, we can find rest and pure freedom in the fact that God is in control and we are blessed if we do not take offense when He does not solve all of our problems.

At my first appointment with the rheumatoid doctor, I sat in the waiting room with swollen joints and an aching body. The pain was excruciating and humiliating. It was agonizing to lift a small glass of water to my mouth to drink. I could not open doors by myself. Going barefoot at home was impossible because the bottoms of my feet were so swollen. It was impossible for me to dress myself and my mom had to help me every morning. Before receiving medication, I would lie on the couch curled up in a ball, unable to move because it just hurt too much. I worried that I would not be able to play drums anymore, or even type my stories on my computer.

But God brought me through it. I did not doubt that He had a plan because I chose to trust Him. There were days and still are, when it is frustrating to even deal with my condition, but as we see in Matthew eleven, He did not come to heal my arthritis. He knows what I cannot even begin to understand: I am sick in my soul and am in need of His salvation, even more than I need my medication to allow me to function properly. After hearing this sermon, I came to realize that even though I do not understand, I am blessed because I choose not to take offense at God and His plan for me. I so easily could, but faith in Him requires me to choose to trust Him, and this brings liberating freedom.

The question in life is not “Why would God allow bad things to happen?” It is this: “Am I willing to trust in God even when I don’t understand Him?”