Embracing Singleness: Five Things I Learned While Traveling Alone

Greetings, my faithful readers! Please forgive my absence, for I have been readjusting to life in Texas after traipsing around England and Scotland for an entire month. It was truly a privilege to be a part of a culture that is part of my heritage and in my blood. The rolling hills, lochs, and lovely people are even dearer to my heart now than when I set foot on that magical island almost ten years ago.

You've all been so good to follow my journey, and I am grateful. The first step onto the airplane that would take me far away into unfamiliar surroundings was something I thought I'd never do. Let me be honest: I was scared half to death. But after I settled into my seat and took a few big breaths, I knew it was possible. In case you were wondering, my medications (more specifically my Humira pens), endured the eight hour flight and came out on the other side with flying colors. I had visions of them bursting inside my carry-on bag in the overhead bins, but the moment I landed, I opened their boxes and found that my fears had been allayed. I made it and they did too!

Today, I would like to list the top five things I learned while traveling overseas as a single woman. So let's get started!

1. Don't Let Fear Get in Your Way

This sounds like a no-brainer, but for solo travel newbies, this is the mantra you will be repeating to yourself over and over throughout your entire first trip alone. Fear is crippling and can steal so many wonderful moments from you if you let it. There were several times I sat on my bed in the Airbnb in Chawton and said to myself "Okay, you're going to walk out that door and you are going to enjoy yourself today!" The first morning is always the hardest because you are in an unfamiliar place where you know absolutely no one. In my case, it was so reassuring to be able to call my friend Caroline in Scotland and hear her voice after settling in. But when you travel alone, that will not always be the case. Make friends with the people around you, look up, smile, and say "Hello!" to everyone you meet. I was stopped several times by locals who saw my camera and asked me where I was from. That led to long conversations about my home state, culture, and anything else they asked about. So don't let fear get in the way of a vibrant experience!

2. Find Your Confidence

Traveling by yourself forces you to be confident in ways you never thought possible. I toured Hampshire, Jane Austen's country, alone (although I was with a male guide for the driven part), and I came to understand that as long as you are smart and keep your eyes open, you will be safe. I had never felt like such an adult as I did on my journey. I was doing something that millions of people do every day, but I was doing it alone. When you travel solo, there is no one to lean on or hide behind. You must ask questions, be willing to speak up when you need something, and take care of yourself because there is no one else there to do it for you. The first leg of my trip was daunting, but once you make it over that frightening hump, the possibilities are endless. Life will come at you full force, but it is a wonderful thing not to be missed.

3. Embrace Your Loneliness

I spent much of my entire trip alone while Caroline and Matt were at work during the day. It was frightening at first to think that no one was there to show me around, but once I stepped out the door and threw on my backpack, I knew I could do it. It was so peaceful to walk the high street and meander between the old buildings alone. When I visited Dunfermline Abbey for the first time, I stood in the middle of the old church, covered in silence. I closed my eyes and imagined the soft padding of leather shoes and robes rustling among the columns. My loneliness had brought me to a place where I found companionship in the ghosts of those who came before me. I have become a graveyard enthusiast because of my time spent there, walking among the tombstones. You get to know yourself well, and for maybe the first time in years, I could hear my own self think and wasn't afraid to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Ultimately, I found it quite freeing to be solitary.

4. Don't Set Your Alarm

If at all possible, let your body clock dictate what time you get up each morning. I only set my alarm once or twice when I didn't want to miss a church service, but for the rest of the trip I adjusted to an 8 am wake-up time easily. Allowing myself to relax for a month by not setting an alarm clock was quite freeing. Just go with the flow and use that lazy morning time to plan your activities for the day.

5. Embrace the Culture

One of the main reasons I visited Scotland was because I wanted to connect with my ancestors. Although I did not have a map from Ancestry.com to follow, it still felt as if I got to know people whom I very well could have been related to. The Scots are loud, opinionated, and some of the warmest folk you will ever encounter. I feel that way about our Texas culture also. There aren't that many differences between us. I met so many Scots who wanted to talk politics, culture, and a vast array of subjects which I was more than happy to oblige. I am also opinionated (I don't think you can write a blog without being so), and that helped me to connect with them. Don't let your inner shyness dictate what you do or say while experiencing a culture you are unfamiliar with. Asking questions, whether silly or not, will either get you a hearty laugh or a brand new way of seeing things.