What It's Like to Be Me

Lately, I've been working on a story that involves outer space.

Don't ask what it is about because I am not going to tell you... Not yet anyway!

Tonight during our writer's meeting, one of our members said to me "I wonder what it's like being you."

For a minute I thought: 'What a nice compliment!' Then I thought: 'What IS it like being me?' I've only met her at least four times, so she doesn't know much about me except that I write fiction. When she said that, my mind began racing, taking me through a sort of drive-thru of my life and all the things that I've done and been for the past 28 years. I've recently gotten to know this new side of myself as a writer, which is interesting because I've been writing for a long time. Not whole books or anything, but I have been writing. This "new" side of me is something I've not tapped into for a while because of my internship in DC and my current job search. But going to a writer's meeting every week and being held accountable to bring what you've been working on is something that has really helped me to keep going with the stories in my head.

I've realized a few things about myself by talking through what I am working on with my readers. First, my characters are either people I know or they are made up of things I've been reading about, like philosophy, current events, or relationships in my own life. Cultural issues have a heavy influence on one of the stories I have started writing. Each character represents someone in my own life, good and bad. Really, that is scary to think about because I fear that that person whose personality I drew from will recognize themselves and not be impressed. But that is just something a writer has to be aware of.

Second, I've come to understand that being vulnerable to criticism is something I must get used to. I think I am already (somewhat), but there are days when I don't want to show ANYONE what I've written. I even question myself sometimes, thinking "No one will read this and if they did, they'd be shocked at what goes on inside my head." But if John Steinbeck had let thoughts like that take root in his mind, we wouldn't have his work that is such a treasure. There are so many other authors who took the plunge and just wrote what they felt needed to be said. I need to be that way too.

Writing really is like standing naked in a crowd while shouting all of your secrets into a megaphone for everyone to hear. But the more you do it, (writing, that is), the more you become accustomed to hearing people's reactions and you begin to really get your footing as a writer. Your confidence grows, and you find that you DO have something to contribute to the world. The entire human race may not read it and say "Oh! That was good!" But there WILL be people who read and enjoy it. I've had people tell me how much they enjoy my work. My favorite reactions are "It really made me think about such and such," or "I never thought of it that way before." I want to inform, but I also deeply desire to help people find the truth and to bring that truth to them either through an article or a story.

So. What is it like to be me? It is fun. Busy. Educational. And so many other things. There are days I can't stop my mind from thinking critically, and others when I can't get the words on my paper to make a coherent sentence.

Tomorrow, life will go on and I will still be me. And in being me, I will always have things to say. Therefore, writing is the best way to say them. Carry on!

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