Thoughts on Church Leadership

In the beginning, I tried to ignore this.

Then I tried not to take sides.

Then I listened to my friends who have been affected by attitudes such as Patterson’s and I couldn’t ignore it any longer.

After listening and really thinking hard about what my friends said and how they were wounded, I dug into my own past/memories and remembered some really difficult things that happened to me.

Before we go any further, know that I do not see myself as a victim. That is not why I am writing this post. The main reason I am writing this is because I want my non-Christian friends to know that comments like the ones documented in this article and comments from the past are NOT how Christian men should talk about or treat women, their sisters in Christ Jesus.

As a Christian woman, I have dealt with a lot of bad attitudes coming out of my brothers in Christ. I have been talked about, accused of things I did not do, and screamed at on a few occasions by said brothers. I never received an apology after each of these events.

There were young men whom I spent time with that made it very clear to me that they felt I needed to rise to their level and understand that I was the lucky one to be spending time with them, not the other way around. They viewed myself (and others) as their golden ticket into the ministry.

At the time, my parents were very unhappy about how I was treated, but I begged them not to say anything because I did not want to rock the boat or “upset” anyone. I endured it and let it go, time after time.

But now, after reading stories online of women who have come out saying “This happened to me,” I feel that by telling their stories, they have set off a sort of domino effect.

After reading Patterson’s past comments about young women, it got me thinking: Did Jesus go back to his disciples after meeting the Samaritan woman at the well and tell them “Guys, this woman was *wink wink* nice!” Or “That Samaritan lady, she was built, I mean to tell you what!”

No. Our Lord Jesus did not objectify her like that. Instead, he revealed to her that he was the Messiah, the One who had come to save all mankind from their sins.

Think about it: a Jewish man tells a Samaritan WOMAN who he truly is. Even speaking to her was unheard of at the time.

My point is, shouldn’t Patterson follow the Lord’s example and refrain from commenting on the bodies of his sisters in Christ?

If this man is so revered by his supporters who follow his lead, how do they see the women around them? Do they look us over like pieces of meat and objectify us to their brothers? Do they use our physical appearance for a Ha Ha moment during a sermon?

Don’t get me wrong. I am a sinner too. But his comments have gone too far. It’s becoming a black eye on the body of Christ, the church. And when it comes to that, I know I need to say something.

Now that I look back on it, I am glad Beth Moore came out and said what she did because it raised an alarm. It definitely woke me up to understand my sisters and how they have been treated in the past, and it helped me remember my own experiences.

So if anyone reading this ever felt I was not listening to you, I am sorry. I want to admit that I was wrong.

No, I don’t want a man to be falsely accused, and I really don’t think my sisters do either. I know they don’t because they are fair-minded individuals.

But I do have to wonder, is it because of these attitudes that we felt we’d be shamed if we spoke up? Were we just supposed to take the hit and move on?

The Christian life should be lived in the light, so if there is anything going on that needs to be brought out, it should be.

We are the children of light! If we believe Jesus is who he says he is, we should be living as if we are already physically in a heavenly culture.

I was taught to reflect my Christianity with my dress. I was brought up to dress like a lady so that my conduct drew people to Christ, not my body.

Shouldn’t that be the standard for men like Patterson also? Shouldn’t he also be held to a higher standard like us when it comes to speech?

I don’t want my brother to crash and burn, but I do want to see change. I am tired of hearing stories from women who have been so hurt and wounded by men in leadership and finding out that their concerns were dismissed.

I don’t want them to lose faith in God and leave the church because Patterson could not keep his tongue from wagging. This causes non-believers to think we are all this way, that we are okay with demeaning our women and telling them that all they are good for is to be someone’s wife.

Where, pray tell, does the Bible say that?

From my understanding, the Apostle Paul himself had a heart change toward women after his conversion to Christianity. Before his life-changing encounter with the risen Jesus on the road to Damascus, he was killing and imprisoning Christians (men and women). In Jewish culture, women didn’t have much. We see it all over the Bible. But Jesus, our example, changed all of that!

After his conversion, Paul wrote in Romans 16 about many of his fellow believers. Several of whom were women. His attitude and words toward them are that of equality and friendship. He speaks of them just as Jesus would have.

“I commend you to Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea, that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also.”

Paul goes on to encourage his brothers and sisters to be “wise in what is good, and simple concerning evil.”

It was not until a few years ago that I began to understand, through reading the Word, that many of our attitudes towards women are not biblical. They just aren’t in the scriptures. So why do we allow this kind of attitude to continue?

I don’t know if anyone has asked Patterson to refrain from these kinds of jokes. I don’t know everything. But I do know that they are hurtful, and if we don’t change and fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, we will become more like the world with every passing day.

They will know we are Christians by our love. And that goes for me, too.

I have learned many lessons throughout all of this. I have learned things about friendship, trust, love, how to listen, and how to pray and show concern for both parties.

I have also learned that no matter who it is, and no matter what they have accomplished in the past, I need to be concerning myself with imitating Jesus. Not a man, not a woman, but Jesus alone.

I really didn’t want to write this, but I did because I am a writer and we don't always write about pretty things. I wrote it because I want others to know Jesus saves. He forgives. And I know that he wants us to live in unity with one another.